ASK SARAH : decorating difficulties

q:  Hi Sarah, I just moved in with my boyfriend of a little over a year and we’re butting heads over decorating our apartment. Neither of us had a lot of furniture, but what we did each bring to the house is an ugly mishmash and our tastes are totally different. Do you have any suggestions for a new-to-living-together couple on how to get past our decorating differences?  Best, Emily

a:  hi emily!  first, thanks for your question and i totally feel your pain.  i think lou and i spent the first 6 months we lived together arguing over just about anything we could think of.  it’s a big adjustment and on top of that you don’t have the comfort of a home you’ve known to help you keep your head on. the good news: all is not lost!  you can make a home together that reflects both of you and still feels cohesive even if you don’t start out on the exact same page. we did it, and although it took time and lots of effort, it was totally worth it.  here’s my advice:

one thing lou and i did that helped is we got rid of almost all major furniture pieces that we brought into the house individually and started from scratch (the only things we kept were things that both of us really loved, which was almost nothing).  this was hard, until i saw a giant piece of art that i couldn’t stand being put into storage and realized i would rather that be gone and lose some of my own things than have both. we chose pieces together that we agreed on. i took the lead in coming up with a basic design plan, then ran pieces by him for approval.  we lived with very little for some time, adding things as we could afford.  

don’t assume you’re always right. this was so hard for me, as i had some dated ideas about gender roles in interior design. be open to the idea that your boyfriend has ideas and viewpoints that are worth listening to.

find common design ground: if i had my way we would live in a house filled with gold and white and brass everything. it would be an amazing reflection of my most sparkly dreams. and if lou had his way he would live in a super modern, minimalist abode. where we found our common ground was a love of mid century design.  the house is still a bit cluttered for lou’s preferences and doesn’t feel like a palm springs vacation home the way i would prefer, but it’s a happy compromise and feels like both of us without one personality totally dominating. it’s worth it to compromise and sacrifice a few design dreams to have a space that really reflects you as a couple. 

any other advice for these new cohabitants my friends? would love to hear how you all negotiated the decorating in your homes.  and as always, send your questions my way, i’m having so much fun with this new series!

photo by emily johnston andersen via the brickhouse tumblr

ASK SARAH : dairy free breakfast suggestions?

Kerstin from Hamburg, Germany wrote: “Do you have any tips for a healthy cow’s milk-free breakfast? I don’t have any problem with eating milk-free during the day, but in the morning I can’t really think of anything I might like – besides fruit, but then I am hungry again after 30 minutes. The hardest thing is going out for brunch on the weekend… I am not a picky eater, and I like both sweet and savory for breakfast. I am not a vegetarian, but as I am a Yogi I try not to eat too many products of animal origin in general.”

kerstin, oh yes i have some tips!  i also struggle with breakfast- if you’re not eating dairy or animal products it can feel limiting.  but i’ve found a whole new bunch of breakfast foods to enjoy!  my go-to is oatmeal in the winter and muesli in the spring and summer. here’s a recipe for museli (which you can just add water too and cook to make a tasty oatmeal!)  since you can’t have dairy or soy, substitue with almond milk (how to make your own almond milk here, or you may be able to find in your market).  oats in general are pretty much a breakfast savior, as evidenced in the photos above.  as are smoothies and green juices! eggless scrambles are good too (think tofu, onions, tomatoes, red peppers, spinach, scallions, etc all sauteed together and served with your favorite hot sauce!)

as far as eating out, i try to avoid breakfast at restaurants and only go to brunch where i can order off the lunch menu because honestly, i can’t be bothered to eat oatmeal at a restaurant- seems like such a waste to spend good money on a bland bowl of oats!  lastly, i’m working on a recipe post that is just for you- a really amazing breakfast treat that will cure all your dairy woes! hope this helps kerstin!  

photos above: berry crumble bars, homemade granola, make-ahead steel cut oats, granola bars (i would substitute oats for the cereal suggestion in this last one!)

ASK SARAH

happy monday friends!  i’m going to kick off this series by answering Kate’s “what to wear” questions. Kate wrote:

Q: Since you’re offering, can you recommend a dress for a casual beach wedding and a dress/outfit for a sunset cruise the night before? The wedding is in Hilton Head, SC in two weeks, so I need to get shopping soon. Also, while I like maxi dresses on others, it’s not the best look for a 5’2″ gal like me.

I   II   III   IV

A: oh my, i’m a little jelly of your sunset cruise and casual beach wedding plans!  sounds fun!  my thoughts on wedding wear is this: i don’t care how casual the location, the couple or the plans- it’s a wedding!  and i see that as a fantastic excuse to get dressed in something pretty and feel great!  here are some options below with different price points but all from shopbop, my online shopping heaven (free shipping and free returns, and it generally arrives in 3 days!) 

i have the yellow dress and i have to tell you i’m in love with it!  i wore it to a bruch event yesterday and got so many compliments on it.  and, i know you’re petite but that slit up the leg is so flattering that i think it’d be fantastic on a woman of any height!  all of these dresses can be dressed up or down, so they’re versatile and you’ll get more than this one wear out of them. now, as for shoes and accessories, i think your best bet at the beach is a wedge sandals. here are some options : I   II  III  IV. and as far as baubles/accessories are concerned, i think dresses II & III need a big statement necklace or an amazing belt but the other two can get away with something more simple. (hopefully this is an area you can pull from your closet!) add a few gold bangles and a chunky watch if you have one to finish your look, and you my dear, are all set to celebrate! have some champagne for me!

now, as for your sunset cruise(!!!), i have a tendency to want to get all nautical on my bi-annual boat excursions and wear a striped dress, boat shoes and red lips.  not really appropriate for a pre-wedding sunset cruise, so instead i think i might veer to the glamorous side with this dress, save my pennies but still feel well styled in this dress, or be understated but sexy in this dress.  kate, i hope that helps! have fun and send pictures if you get a chance! 

now, on to the next question…. what’ve you got for me? work, love, food, sex, style, home decor? what shall we talk about next?!

NEW SERIES…ASK SARAH!

hey now!  so i was thinking it would be really fun to answer your email questions in a new “ask sarah” series. i mean, i think i could possibly be of service, and when i fail i know that all of you will chime in with just the right advice to save my ass. here are a few questions to get it started *all questions submitted by yours truly:

q:  sarah, are you qualified to be answering questions on the interweb?

a: ah, well, there’s a pretty simple answer to that one: absolutely not. i’ve never attended answering questions on the interweb college, or even taken a course on it for that matter.  i have absolutely no background in answering questions professionally whatsoever.  i fancy myself an internet dr. phil though, so i think it’s all good.

q: will you be able to answer questions of a scientific or mathematical nature?

a: not independently. however should i receive one i will promptly forward to my friend annie who is extremely good at google and much, much smarter than the average bear.  together we will get to the bottom of any and all smarty-pants questions.

q: will you help me find a dress to wear to a wedding/job interview/party/funeral/christening/bbq or date night to the icecapades?  or the perfect chair for that awkward empty nook in my living room?

a: oh hell yes.  online shopping for others is one of my joys in life.  just make sure to give me a little background info on you and what your needs are.  send pictures when appropriate.

q: will you advise me on how to best handle an awkward situation/conflict with a friend, colleague or family member?

a: oh most definitely.  and i have watched pretty much every episode of real housewives of anywhere so i am very well versed in What Not To Do.

q: will you suggest a recipe for my lactose intolerant, gluten free, vegetarian-who-doens’t-eat-anything-green/red or blue sister in law for a dinner party i’m hosting?

a: i will do my damnedest.  and it will be delicious.

so there we go, off to a roaring start! please bring on the questions my friends (via email, comments or the form under “contact”). otherwise you’ll all be subjected to more of me asking and answering my own questions.  which would be awkward for all of us.

*vintage vogue cover found here