Hi friends! I hope you all had the best holiday season! I know, it seems like that was forever ago already but I’m getting a slow start to 2017! 2016 kicked a lot of asses, at least in my circle of loved ones. I’m happy it’s behind us- it was filled with the highest highs and lowest lows. I’m ready for a year with a more even keel, if the gods are willing. So far we’re off to a good start- one week in and I was lucky enough to be at the birth of my best friend’s beautiful, healthy baby girl, Teo slept his longest stretch of sleep yet (8 pm- 4 am), his pediatrician said he’s growing well and I found out at my last Dr. appointment that my liver abscess has officially cleared out!!!! All of this bodes well for 2017!
What a wild ride the past five months have been! We’re still spinning from it, to be honest. I’m seeing a counselor to help me with the PTSD and am hoping to feel more like myself in a few months. I didn’t realize how intense the healing from trauma can be. While physically I’m feeling worlds better, emotionally I’m still very much struggling. I have anxiety and panic attacks that are debilitating. My heart is heavy that Mateo’s first months of life were not at all what I’d planned or hoped for. But I know after I wade through the muck of this recovery I’ll be a better mother, wife, friend and person. So I keep pushing through it. The counselor I’m working with recommended Prolonged Exposure Therapy, so I’m on a 16 week schedule of intensive sessions. I’m two weeks in and it’s about to get difficult, but I know that it’s one of those situations where the only way to the other side is through it. In this instance it’s comforting to me that life seems to fly by, I know I’ll be on the other side of those 14 weeks before I know it. I’m also starting some yoga therapy for healing trauma as well. I’ll keep you posted on how that goes too!
When I last updated I think I was blindly optimistic about what I would be able to do with my work life. The truth is that I am going to have to ease back into things a bit more slowly, rather than throw myself into it the way I was hoping. But that’s also ok. I’m learning to try to go with life’s flow rather than control it, or resist what’s happening. I’m here for the ride. It boggles my mind that at this time last year we were preparing for a year long RV trip without any idea of what was to come! And here we are madly, wildly in love with this new person in our lives and wondering how we ever lived without him. It’s truly the biggest blessing and the gratitude I have every day for his health and gentle spirit is overwhelming.
Ok, so that’s about all the news on this end! I hope you all have a great weekend planned! We’re having lots of rain in San Diego so we’ll be staying cozy, with the exception of Saturday morning where our family will be joining our community in the local Women’s March. For those of you joining us here and in cities across the globe, let’s let this be just the beginning of our efforts to be heard! XX- Sarah