My Greatest Motherhood Fears and Worries


It seems like from the moment I found out I was pregnant I’ve had an entire new set of worries and fears that I carry around with me, some of which have faded with time (will I have a miscarriage?!) and others which have stuck around and even grown more intense (will I like being a mother?!).  Today I’m breaking some of them down, in a list.  Dragging monsters out of closets and facing them on a colorful Moroccan rug like the one above makes them seem less scary, right?  Let’s hope so.  It’s an intense time of anticipation and excitement, I know there is so much goodness to look forward to.  But it’s also a bit crazy to know that one of  (if not THE) biggest life changes is about to happen and there’s not a whole lot I can do to prepare for it.  I have to wait it out and then see how it feels when I’m in it.  And that is unnerving, to say the least, for a planner and control freak like myself!  It’s downright scarytown.  Fellow mamas, are you with me?  Does it get less scary?!!  Do you or did you have some of these same worries, and did they go away?  I’m laying my crazy allllll out on the table today.  Can someone please give me a hug?  xx- Sarah  {photo via}

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28 Weeks Pregnancy Update


Hi friends!  It’s been a bit since I’ve showed my belly around here, so I figured it’s time to pop in with an update!  I’m officially in my third trimester (hip hip!) and the realness of our new family member is definitely setting in.  I can’t wait to meet him!!!  It’s amazing feeling his movements, wondering what he’ll look like, what his personality will be like, WHO he is and who he will become!  It’s a magical time in that way, there is so much anticipation and excitement.  There’s so much goodness to look forward to, sometimes I wish time would just fly by!  But then I try to remind myself of the sweetness that is in this time, and to just stay present and enjoy it.  Inner battles commence.

I have friends who LOVE being pregnant, and I envy them.  And I have friends who truly suffer through pregnancy, and I feel lucky that I’m not in the same boat.  I think I’m somewhere in the middle.  I was so exhausted for the first 5 months of my pregnancy, but for some reason I didn’t even realize that I was extra tired from the pregnancy, it just felt like my new (non-functional) normal.  It wasn’t until the fog started to lift that I even realized I’d been in one.  I also had a difficult time with my digestion, but that eventually sorted itself out with the help of the GAPS diet and more so my letting go of needing to eat perfectly for the baby (I think the stress of trying to eat perfectly was actually causing my digestion to go off kilter, which is a reminder of how powerful our minds can be!)

For the past couple of months I’ve had my energy back but a slew of other pregnancy side effects- allergies and leg cramps being the worst of them.  Those are the worst because they keep me from sleeping through the night and have caused more bouts of insomnia than I’d care to think about, but in the big scheme of things I know it’s not even that bad.  Women are my heroes for what we go through to keep humanity going!

It’s been an adjustment gaining weight and watching my body transform into one I barely recognize.  There’s nothing that can prepare you for it.  I feel enormous and since most days I can’t be bothered to put makeup on or do my hair, I feel frumpy on top of it.  But Lou tells me how beautiful he thinks I look and I try my hardest to see myself through his eyes.  I managed to do both hair and makeup for these photos, just for the record (VICTORY!)   I realized in doing so how much better I felt about myself so I’m going to make my best effort to get myself together a bit more often.  I see photos of glamorous pregnant women all over the media and I wonder if I’m missing something.  It feels hard enough to take care of everything I need to (work, exercise, eating right, maintaining relationships, midwife appointments, getting much needed rest, etc), adding a glamour routine into the mix doesn’t seem possible.  Pregnant mamas that appear to be doing it all,  HOW???!?  Tell me your secrets!!!  I suppose this is a precursor for what’s to come once baby boy arrives and I start feeling like other moms have it more together than I do, which I imagine is a common feeling in this world where social media gives us these peeks into each other’s lives.  There are so many moms I admire who seem to be juggling everything so well, I wonder if I will be able to do it too?

More random pregnancy musings and details below, if you’re interested!  xx- Sarah

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