ASK SARAH: “Help for us busy gals that can’t get it together”


Hi friends,  Happy Friday!  I’m reinstating my ASK SARAH column, primarily because of this reader email, but also because I think I’ve learned so much these past few years (in some of the hardest ways) that I may have some serious challenge-induced thoughts to share.  OK, so I’m just going to get to it.  Here’s the email and my answer, after the jump: {photo: Pepito Mora}

Hi Sarah!

Your house and clothing are gorgeous, I’m sure you do well financially as a photographer and get discounts and freebies via the blog but I’m still left scratching my head as to how one can afford such a nice lifestyle? I don’t mean to imply in any way that you don’t work hard, obviously you do and you are very talented, and I love your blog. I only bring this up because you’re so honest and share so much with your readers. I’m frustrated, as I’m sure many readers are. I work hard, make six figures, and make good financial decisions yet there is no way I afford a lovely home in a nice location in Southern California, beautiful furnishings such as yours, vacations, and a gorgeous wardrobe. I know it’s too much to ask to share financials but perhaps an idea of how someone on a limited budget can have a slice. If I’m frustrated with a $130,000 salary, imagine how it is for folks making $50,000 or $30,000? I work well over full time and try to find time to exercise and cook healthy meals, so the usual suggestion to scour consignment stores for funky vintage furniture or used stylish clothing doesn’t work for folks that only have a few free hours on the weekends. How do you make it all work especially given the health challenges you have? I can barely manage to put a non-hideous outfit together each day, I pat myself on the back if I have time to put on mascara and fit in a workout, much less style my hair and weave a fabulous wall hanging. I know blogs don’t show the bad hair days and messy floors but on my best day my house and I don’t look as put together as you. Can you help folks like me out? And if you do take the time to read this, thank you for your time and your blog.

My dearest busy gal who feels she can’t get it together,

First and foremost, I feel you.  I feel your struggle, I feel your frustration pushing through those words and landing right in my inbox.  I’ve sat thinking about this email for a week or so to try to get to the bottom of what you’re asking me.  I’ve decided that I’m going to answer your email two ways:  one, as if you are truly only asking me what’s laid out in the email.  And second, what I actually interpreted to be at the root of your questions, if I may be so presumptuous.

It seems you’re wondering how we afford what we have, the logistics of how it all shakes out for us, and how you too can have what we have.  Here’s what I can share:  I earn an incredible living from this site, Lou earns an incredible living from his business, and together, we are financially fortunate.  We were able to afford our first southern California home in Palm Springs because of a great turn of events in our business and a bit of family help- in the form of a loan to help with the extra money we needed for our down payment.  The housing market was in our favor and when we sold the Palm Springs house the profit from it was enough to land us in our San Diego house. It is also important to note that we have debt- a small amount on credit cards, student loan debt, and our mortgage.

We started near the bottom of  income earners,  there was a time when I lived in section 8 housing, Lou had to borrow money until a check came in to pay his rent.   I don’t have to imagine the frustration of the $30k earners because at one point I WAS a $30k earner.  And there were even years I earned less than that.  When Lou and I started dating/moved in together our photography businesses started flourishing.  We worked our asses off to get where we are- many times at the expense of my health.  This blog is my full-time business, and as such I do receive quite a few perks from it in the form of gifts, discounts, and experiences that I would otherwise never be able to have.  It sounds like, logistically speaking, we may simply have more resources than you have at the current moment.

To answer your question, how do you make it all work, especially with your health challenges:  Quite frankly, I don’t.  I’m sorry if I led you to believe otherwise!  If I managed to put on a fabulous outfit, mascara, AND fit in a workout in a day I too would pat myself on the back!  And I promise, there are women who I see who make my best day look like a shamble.  It’s a very dangerous thing to play the comparison game because it’s one you’ll never win.  There will always be someone who appears to have it together more than you.  And I use the word “appears” because the truth is you have only a very curated and well edited idea of what my life looks like, as I only have a very curated and well-edited idea of what anyone else’s life looks like from an outside perspective.  I’ve also learned that speculating on other’s financial situations is pretty much useless- it’s information that generally people keep private and it’s just impossible to tell from the outside what’s going on (ie: how many times have we seen celebrities look like they’re living the life and have it ALL only to file bankruptcy months later.  There are too many ways to finance a lifestyle these days to assume that because someone is living a certain way they can actually afford it).

Now, here’s what I really think the root of this issue is: for you, for me, for everyone else.  We all want, very badly, to be happy.  It’s our driving force here on this earth, it’s our true purpose.  Sadly, we live in a modern world where the message we’re consistently fed is IF YOU JUST HAVE MORE YOU’LL FIND THE HAPPINESS YOU’RE SEARCHING FOR.  But, I believe that’s only true if that more is enough to cover basic needs that aren’t currently being met.  IE: food, shelter, and enough money to relieve the pressure of figuring out how to meet those needs.  In that situation yes, more does equate to more happiness.  But the rest of us who have enough– we find ourselves in a never-ending race to the MORE.  To the HAPPY.  We are so busy looking for the happiness that we don’t realize we already have it, that it lives inside of us and is just looking for a moment of stillness, a moment of quiet to be noticed.  That it’s just looking to be nurtured.

I can speak to all of this because a little over two years after I was a $30k earner I became a $250k earner.  The reality is that I wasn’t any more happy the year I earned $250k than I was the years when I earned $30k.  In fact, I may have even been less happy.  This is not to say I didn’t enjoy the perks of my financial freedom and the things/experiences it afforded me.  But any happiness money buys is fleeting, and earning that living came at a huge expense- I had no time for myself, the photography career that I had previously enjoyed became a burden, my friendships suffered, and ultimately at the end of that $250k year I had a health crisis.  My body told me what my mind wouldn’t: for me, earning $250k was pure shit.  I was wildly out of balance.

I’m working now, as I have been for the past few years, to find what that balance is.  I changed careers- started this blog and transitioned out of the wedding photography business.  Because I’m a lady who enjoys the finer things and experiences in life, and because I have the ability, work ethic and luck to manifest abundance, I’ve had to learn some seriously hard lessons in the form of health problems.  It’s taken some major crisis with my body to shine light into the darkest corners of myself- at which point I realized this one resounding fact: as a child I equated things with love.  And for all the love that was lacking, I had all of the things.  And so, as an adult, I filled my life with pretty things to make up for all the love that I missed as a child.  It’s desperately sad, really.  I’m surrounded by all of my beautiful things, I can travel to the most exotic places, wear the prettiest clothes, distract myself to the ends of the earth and still this truth remains: my mother didn’t want me.  My mother didn’t want me and at one point she gave me away.

What do you make of that, dear busy gal who can’t get it together?  Are there any truths that you’re trying to avoid?  Any pains that run so deep that you think that if you could just fill up your life with one more thing, one more experience, one more distraction you could finally find that happiness you’ve been searching for?  Or is it something else?  What is it that makes you think that if you could just have more, you could be happy?

I feeeeel your frustration.  You deserve to be happy!  You’re doing the best you can- everything you think is exactly the right thing!!!  Everything our world tells you should be IT!!!  And yet.  And yet.  And yet here you are, wondering how your six figure income just isn’t enough.  How your well over full time job, exercise and healthy meals aren’t doing it.  My dear, there is no amount that will ever be enough.  There are no logistics that I can tell you, no secrets except this:   Sit.  Be still.  Breathe!  Innnnnn. Outtttttttt.  Innnnnn. Outtttttttt.  Innnnnn. Outtttttttt.  If that stillness is uncomfortable, notice it.  Sit with it.  Keep breathing until it passes.  Keep breathing even if it never passes.

And eventually, when you get up, ask yourself “WHAT DO I FEEL LIKE DOING RIGHT NOW?”  Listen to yourself when you answer.  Do you feel like laying in the grass, watching a movie, eating a fried egg sandwich, getting lost in watching the clouds?   Ask yourself what would feel gooooood. Whatever it is- do it.  Make note of how you feel when you do.  Are you happy?  If the answer is no, how come?  What could you do that would bring you happiness?

What you have to do friend is the very work that I’m doing.  You have to stop distracting yourself from your truest purpose- to be happy.  You have to learn what real happiness is, and where you find it.  I promise you, it’s not in any of the things you’re struggling for.  That six figure income you’re making- maybe it’s bogging you down?  Maybe earning it is taking up too much of your time and what you really want is to spend more days at the beach?  Maybe you want a job that feels more like fun and less like work, and you’d be ok with earning less money if you were having more fun?  I don’t know!  But I promise this: You do.  If you sit with yourself long enough you’ll answer all of your own questions, and if you make it your purpose every day to enjoy your life as much as you can you’ll be doing everything right.  Go on now.  Give yourself the space to figure it all out.  Slow down.  That happiness is in there, it’s just waiting for you.  xx- Sarah

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Reader Comments

  1. Ariel|

    This is just so great and honest, and something I really needed to hear today. Thank you for sharing.

  2. stephanie|

    Well said. Recently I started looking into the minimalist movement. It was the best decision! It’s not just about having less but the art of living a different life where having it “all” isn’t important. It’s been a real lesson in contentment and finding true happiness with who I am and not what society says I should be. Doing things like having a capsule wardrobe, having only what I truly need in my home, and decorating simply in a way that makes ME feel comfortable. It’s a process that takes time but I’ve found it very freeing.

  3. Ella|

    Keep doing what you’re doing. It’s so nice to have this as a real, honest corner of the internet. I know it must be so difficult to share with this level of transparency but it is so beautiful.

  4. Jordy|

    I don’t think the person asking the question implied that she wasn’t happy or that because you are richer your are therefore happier. She asked a question I’ve wondered for a long time as a reader of yours, how can you have all this financially? The answer is that you make a ton of money. And as you said money doesn’t mean more happiness, but I believe it does make for a more charmed life. Laying in bed with sickness is more comfortable surrounded by Egyptian cotton linens.

    I live in southern california and make just shy of 6 figures with no debt, yet it is a struggle to live here. And for most woman its a struggle to manage a home, meals, fashion, and family. This is normal. You just struggle the same in expensive designer clothes. I love escaping into the lives of bloggers, but that’s all it is, a mini escape in my crazy day and messy life that I wouldn’t change for the world.

    I think rather than focusing on happiness, the focus should be on gratitude. Being thankful for what we have and what we can do to help others. Studies have shown that people who don’t make a lot of money proportionally donate more to charity and volunteer more of their time than people who make a lot of money. Taking time to help others and being thankful for what you have can truly offer the most happiness.

    • Hilary|

      Jordy, 100%. It’s super easy to choose a day at the beach when the bank is full.

    • Jody Winter|

      You seem like a nice person Sarah, but I agree with Jordy. I think you should have left your response at the factual and excluded the ‘how to be happy’ advice. I also agree that whilst money won’t cure your ills, it certainly makes life less uncomfortable. My partner and I make a good living and own a home in one of the most expensive cities in the world (Auckland). Yes, we’ve made choices to optimise our finances (no kids, good savings, tech careers) but I am so grateful for where we are in life. And if I am brutally honest, it’s down to the money we make.

    • Sharyn|

      Yes and more yes. I am kinda bothered by the idea that we are here to be happy. Do we all want that? Sure! But there is a lot more here of value than just the pursuit of feeling satisfied. If you want to find the happiest people look for the most grateful . . . and get out there and serve. Break the chains of self – life is not all about ME!!!

  5. Kat|

    Sarah, thank you so much for your honestly! I loved this post. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  6. Ashley Harrison|

    OMG!!! I literally was talking about this yesterday with my husband and feel like I struggle with the exact same issues. This is one of the best post I have read. Thank you for sharing.

  7. Kathryn|

    Sarah, thanks for taking on this topic with both honesty and empathy! Yours has become a blog that I check each day; I think in part becasue of how personable – and personal – your posts are, on top of all the great and inspiring design, etc.

  8. Megan|

    This is one of the only posts in which I didn’t super enjoy your tone. I think the reader could’ve been genuinely asking how your life looks like a wrapped up bow. I think this post didn’t even really need to be posted because I believe a previous one to be more true – that there are hairballs flying across your floors, photos of you DIYing your own home instead of having contractors do all the work, struggling emotionally, etc. I think the outfits like the $3k previous outfit of your last post is not for reality but just for our dreamy entertainment, your sponsors, and what makes the blog feel upper-class.

    I was expecting more of a genuine post than a Biggest Loser kind of discover what’s wrong with you post. I, too, have wondered how you guys make it. Blogs and Youtube channels make much more than we can imagine. You don’t have children, thus you can really make a house for you. DIY and invest in things that make you happy – not more in quantity, but more in what items you wish to have, affordable alternatives that can achieve that same look you want, etc.

    Just thought it’d go another direction.

  9. Anon|

    There is research to back up your belief that money earned beyond a certain point (to cover necessities plus a little extra) does not bring more happiness. As you note, there is always more to desire.

    I have found that this past year during which my spouse has been unemployed and then underemployed, while also developing an undiagnosable medical condition has been so important in facing what really matters. We were never well off (too early in our careers) but we have always had what we needed and have lived on much less as graduate students. We were able to take a look at where we want to spend money and where we don’t. And my spouse was able to consider whether it was worth it to take a job because it was available and even paid well or to hold out for something that aligns with her career goals. Together we decided that having a job that is a career was more important than having that income beyond what we truly need to survive (plus even a little extra). Well below 6 figures and in Southern California.

    Thank you for your advice, it is spot on and something that I have been fortunate to begin to learn in a year of relative misfortune.

  10. Sarah | Well and Full|

    This really resounds with me. It’s so freaking easy to feel like if I just had this “one more thing”, I’d FINALLY be happy. It seems like such an elusive goal. But I think this lyric by Jamie Cullum really sums it up – “When I look back on my ordinary, ordinary life, I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time.” Happiness is the journey, not the destination.

  11. allyson|

    this was just plain awesome. Thank you thank you for the raw honesty and thank you thank you to the gal who had the courage to write the email….because it is the email we have allll been wanting to write at one time or another. xoxo

  12. Coreen|

    I love this. It’s so nice that you take so much time and thought to answer questions like this from your readers. Thank you for sharing!

  13. kirsten|

    Such a great message, Sarah, thanks for keeping it real. I really appreciate your candor and mindfulness, and think your honesty and willingness to share your truth resonates with a lot of your readers. Best of luck with your health challenges!

  14. aleksi|

    Beautifully honest post! I loved it. I like what one commenter said about gratitude too. Being grateful for what you do have is huge and it is so easy to compare ourselves to the lives of bloggers as pictured on the internet. However, it is such a small glimpse into who they are as people and what their lives really, fully entail. Sarah, you are one of the most honest bloggers I have come across and I just love how real you are about your life. The internet can be a powerful tool to connect to each other and empower each other and I see that you try to use this space to do that. Love you!

  15. Brenda Murphy|

    I love that you shared honestly. The biggest issue I believe is that we are wishing we were/are something else. When we cultivate gratitude for where we are, and what we have, the richness of each moment string together to become intensely beautiful days. xob

  16. Rhode Izaguirre|

    Today’s post was a doozy! I liked the openness of the questions and I especially appreciated the acceptance and openness of your response. My own instant reaction would probably have been quite different. I suppose I am just not as understanding. But I love that the reader felt at ease to pose her questions. The main thing that I felt was gladness that you are who you are and you are receptive enough and open enough with your readers that you handled these questions as you did. Kudos to you! I enjoyed it. I felt like I was observing an exchange between friends. I absolutely loved it!!!

  17. Kathleen|

    This post is incredible, so honest and vulnerable. I love that you are willing to talk about what so many of us non-bloggers wonder about when reading – HOW do they do it/afford it/have time for it all? THANK YOU for sharing. I’m slowly trying to figure out that material possessions don’t equate to happiness, despite our materialistic world constantly telling us otherwise. I’m hoping my little bun in the oven will help me to find what true happiness is, without all the designer nursery furnishing and clothing! Love your blog!

  18. Emily|

    This post is spectacular – a candid message that’s so important to us all. Thank you for the beautiful, personal posts you’ve been sharing lately – they mean so much!

  19. vanessa|

    Your blog is one that I’ve visited for years…and truthfully, it keeps getting better and better. Thank you for sharing and for being the wonderful person you are.

  20. Anne|

    Sarah! This is so real! Thank you. Have you read, ‘Tiny Beautiful Things’ by Cheryl Strayed? You reminded me of Dear Sugar, and it was so refreshing. I needed to read this, so thank you.

  21. Megan|

    Ugh, the person that wrote this letter will most likely never find what they’re looking for if they constantly compare what they have to what others have. It makes me sad that people look at blogs and have to ask others how they can afford such and such! I don’t really think it’s anyone’s business how you can afford your lifestyle and I think it’s kinda rude to ask.

    • Renae|

      Megan I know I’m not alone in wondering how folks can afford their lifestyles. It’s not about envy, it’s a numbers game and balancing it all out and I don’t see the benefit in concealing this information. How are women supposed to help each other if we can’t talk about money?
      It’s not about seeking anything or comparisons. I’m thrilled for the success Sarah is having. Her willingness to answer my question sets her apart from so many other bloggers. This all came up because I’m in the process of buying a house and I’m genuinely interested in how other people are making it work and looking good while doing it. I don’t see the harm in asking people you admire for advice and words of wisdom. Sometimes they tell you just the thing you need to hear. Go ahead and be sad for me if that’s how you want to spend your time and mental energy, but I’m glad I asked.

    • Renae|

      Regarding it being rude to ask how people can afford such and such…I understand that there is a taboo about talking about this sort of thing, but I think that winds up working against us. For instance in my case, I’m a woman trying to buy a house, and everyone involved has some sort of financial interest in the sale of the house and any advice they have is biased based on how much money they can make off the transaction.
      I wish I could just chat with some peers about their home purchase, what their mortgage is, if they think it was a good decision, what they had to give up to make it work. Why is it rude to ask? I agree that it’s personal but I’m not asking for a loan here, I’m just asking for what other people are experiencing. People post every detail of their life, down to what they ate for breakfast and the tampon brand they use but money is verboten? Why is that?
      I respect anyone’s right to not talk about it. But I find most people do want to share their stories, because buying a house is exciting but also a nightmare; it’s one of the biggest financial decisions a person can make, but nobody is supposed to talk numbers? I think we can be of more service to one another if we can be honest about this sort of thing instead of pretending money doesn’t exist. How can people make smart financial decisions if the only people we can talk money with are our parents, the banker, the lender, and the real estate agent?

  22. Kerry|

    Brilliant! Thank you reader for the email and thank you Sarah for answering it. Thank you for your honesty, everyday.

  23. Sarah|

    Thank you for the honesty and bravery of this post. An open, raw, and kind conversation like this is far too rare on the internet. I deeply respect how you handled this and the new direction you are taking this blog.

  24. Caitlin|

    Fantastic post–both for the question and for the answer! Thank you both for your vulnerability and reflection.

  25. Christelle|

    Hello Sarah, I am french 34year old girl and I recently discovered your blog. It’s a pleasure to read your blog and watch your beautiful pictures:) Thank you for this article. It gives hope and faith that happiness is possible eventually for all of us. I guess we just have to believe in ourselves. xx – Christelle

  26. Jessica Martinez|

    Damn, Sarah. I don’t even know what to say. You literally put everything in perspective for me. I can’t even begin to tell you the day I’ve had so far and to come across this just now was timely and everything I needed to hear. I’ve been a reader for a very long time now and I’ve always appreciated how raw and honest you are. I love that about you! Thank you so much for this, it’s EXACTLY what I needed.


  27. Katie|

    I’ve been following certain bloggers for years now, (and following your blog now for over a year Sarah), and this is the first time I’ve ever felt compelled to write a comment. First and foremost, I want to thank you for being so sincere and honest, and more than anything, willing to tackle a question such as this that a reader posed to you. I think most other well-established bloggers would shy away from a question like this, but this is one of the many reasons we appreciate you Sarah! I have also wondered to myself many times how bloggers are able to have an endless stream of new clothes (and honestly, all the space that it takes up! I’m saying this from my own experience of having an overflowing closet). I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately as I’m trying to curtail my own spending habits and trying to reduce the urge to mindlessly buy pretty things or just fall into consumerism. I think something that another reader mentioned is absolutely true, that visiting fashion blogs is now a form of escapism (although inspiration as well) because of what a well-curated version of life blogs/bloggers seem to project. I think blogs have also become a marketing platform where links to purchase clothes are readily supplied and it has just become an extension of online shopping (not necessarily yours, just commenting on the big-name bloggers), especially since it is a lucrative thing for bloggers to do. I believe this also fuels women into thinking that consumerism and buying pretty things will make them happy. To be honest, this concerns me. I’m the first one to say that I have fallen victim to this misguided thinking and that I’ve spent way too much time and money chasing material possessions that superficially and very briefly gratified me. Thank you so much for bringing up this topic. To be honest this morning I had bought a chloe small Marcie satchel purse that I had lusted after for a while after first resting my eyes on it, and I knew it was something I would wear every day because I had something much cheaper and similar in style and color that I used daily. I bought it with a credit card and instantly regretted it because I didn’t have the budget to be buying an $800 dollar purse. After reading this post I decided to cancel the order. Thank you so much for the reality check and for engaging us in this dialogue, I needed it!!

  28. Jane|

    A late comment, but I’d like to add that while I think I can see where you are coming from, I don’t believe our truest purpose each day is to find happiness here on Earth. I think that we are here to live a life that will lead us to the next, much better one. Therefore, we are to serve one another. And as you or another commenter mentioned, we can do this no matter how much we have. The cool part, which relates to your post and theory on happiness, is that service to others and the act of giving leads to happiness! The happiness of those who give and those who receive! I agree, be still, listen, pray, eat nourishing food, do enjoyable activities with friends and family, but give more than anything. Giving as the center of what I do and who I am is something I’m working on. I really feel that serving others is the perfect purpose to have everyday, will always be the right thing to do and will lead to enjoying life as much as possible. Hmmm maybe, your more personal posts are a way in which you are working to give. Does it bring you happiness to know that you may be helping someone in their own struggle by sharing your story? Just a thought. Thanks for being open and allowing others like myself to share as well. Peace to you

  29. Morgan|

    I read this post a few days ago, and have been thinking about it ever since. I relate so much to the reader’s question about how to have it all, I have that same question! Sarah thank you so much for answering it, I really loved your answer, and the wisdom and compassion in your words has really stuck with me.

    The only thing I guess I would add to the discussion is something I try to remember when I struggle with these issues — for many bloggers, putting together posts about looking awesome/doing awesome things/making awesome food is part of the job. So bloggers spend time doing it. My job doesn’t really include that stuff, I am a lawyer – so my job includes lots of hours of sitting at a desk, doing research, writing, talking to clients, etc. If I spent all the time I spend doing my normal job doing a blogger’s job instead, I might definitely look more awesome/do more awesome things/make more awesome food. I am not sure I would do as good of a job of it as Sarah does, or many of the other very talented bloggers out there, but I would probably do better at that stuff than I do now. Those things just take time, and as a lawyer, I spend more of my time doing other stuff.

    So for now, blogs like this one are a source of inspiration for me, for those few precious free weekend hours or when I am getting ready super quick in the morning, when I finally get to act on that inspiration. But on an almost daily basis I struggle with wishing I had more time for those sorts of things, more time to “get it all together,” and of course, more money. So thank you for having this conversation, if anything it helps me feel less alone in that struggle.

    • Samantha|

      Yes Morgan! I’m a lawyer too, and I try to remind myself of the same things! In other ways, too – the reason those yoga teachers or fitness bloggers are so fit (and, my god, always in those outfits – how do they even have time to put together those outfits *to wear to yoga*?? I can barely put together an outfit to wear to the office.) – is because it’s their JOB to look like that. And, unfortunately, that is not my job. Well said!

  30. Haley|

    I appreciate what you’re saying in this post a lot Sarah. We’re all just trying to do what we think we need to do and sometimes that steers us on the wrong path. For me right now, I’m slowly learning what makes me happy and I swear when you really stop and listen it’s like the doors open to so much that you have ignored and pushed aside and you become grateful for that awareness. I think happiness can equal gratitude if we’re talking about inner happy not exterior happy. Lots of love to you!

  31. Crystal|

    Sarah, I’ve been reading your blog for a couple of years, and this is my first comment. Thank you for answering that email and for sharing these wonderful words of wisdom. This IS what we are learning to do, and I’m grateful for the chance to see deeper into the heart of a kindred soul!

  32. Renae|

    I wrote the letter. Sarah, I can’t thank you enough. For the commenters who said that the pursuit of happiness is a bit selfish, I agree that serving others is important, but the two aren’t mutually exclusive. I think people who are happy and express gratitude help to serve others by lifting up everyone around them, and that serving others can bring us happiness. It’s a two way street.. Sarah, this post I think is serving others in a very unique and meaningful way. I cried reading your post. It was so honest and I am so grateful for your words. Yours is one of the few blogs I read anymore and this post is precisely why. I just can’t believe you took the time out of your busy day to answer this, and it’s something I’m going to come back to over and over, especially on those bad Sisyphus kind of days.
    Not only did you respond to someone who had nothing to offer you in return for your time, but you weren’t flippant in your response, you took me seriously. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. I wish you all the success in the world. I know so many women feel the same way I do.
    I am late reading this because I’m in escrow on a home near the coast in North County SD and the last two weeks has been all meeting with lenders and signing forms and crunching numbers and wondering whether I’m making the right decision, and I took a few minutes away from the request for repairs to lighten my mental load, and here you are, saying the thing I needed to hear.

  33. Noelle|

    Sigh. After reading your response. I love you. Ha! I was visiting Palm Springs one time all the way from the Midwest and I’m pretty sure I saw you at the Ace Hotel pool. I was far too shy to say hello, and damn. Now I wish I would’ve. I adore your candidness and honesty !