Musings: Share Your Secrets


Hello my friends!  I’m excited today to revisit my musings column.  My intention is to write more this year- to touch on the things I’ve learned from struggles I’ve overcome or experiences I’ve had, things that I’m reminding myself of or just random thoughts that have been kicking around in the ol’ brain for awhile!  Today’s Musings post is about the secrets we keep and how sharing them can set you free.

We all have a history- we’ve all done things that we are ashamed of.  We have things about ourselves that we’re embarrassed by, that we don’t share with ANYONE.  And that feeling, that shame, it’s toxic.  It’s the voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough.  It’s the voice that keeps you from feeling like the best self that you already ARE.

Whatever you’ve done, the very worst of it, is forgivable.  Whatever those things are about yourself that you don’t share, that you feel ashamed of- those things don’t define you, they have nothing to do with your value or how lovable you are.  You’re perfectly perfect and wonderful and exactly as you’re meant to be- just as you are.

In my experience, the only way to start believing that, truly believing it, is to share the things you’re terrified to share with the person who you trust most.  And then to keep sharing if possible.  Those secrets feed that negative voice in your head, they perpetuate the myth that there’s something to be ashamed of.  Sharing them forces you to confront that.  It’s not easy work.  It’s terrifying and invites a vulnerability to your sense of self like no other.  But releasing those secrets is a tremendous gift to your spirit.  And the burden of that shame will be lifted, one shared secret at a time.  Challenge your secrets.  Be free.  Love yourself.    xx- Sarah

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Reader Comments

  1. Sherry|

    I love this. It’s true- revealing the deepest secrets you hold is the best thing you can do.

  2. Cate|

    So much truth in this. Really really hard to do. My therapist once used the metaphor of playing cards to explain true honesty and vulnerability–she said I had my cards in my hand and would be happy to tell people what cards I was holding, but I wouldn’t actually turn them around and show people my hand. I always thought this was such an important distinction. There is immense value in finding safe people in your life who are willing to “go there” with you; I believe this creates a space for deep connection and personal growth. If you haven’t read/listened to the work on shame from Brene Brown, I HIGHLY recommend checking her out. Here’s a link to her TED Talk.

    • Sarah Yates|

      Thanks so much Cate, I’m definitely going to check out that Ted talk!!!! 🙂

  3. Manu|

    I’ve always been an extrovert, but at the same time tend to keep so much heavy stuff to myself. You’re right, it can be a huge burden but also scary to share all those things with someone else. Truth is, keeping all those secrets can make you ill. I got to work on that, definitely. Thank you so much for this. Besos!

  4. Sabina|

    I was sitting in the theater watching Gone Girl, and started crying because I was recently engaged and still hadn’t had the courage to tell my fiance that I had been hospitalized while in college for a “nervous breakdown.” I drove home bawling and fell into his arms and told him everything. It was the most freeing night of my life.

    • Sarah Yates|

      Oh Sabina! That mustve been so hard (both to go through and then to later share!) It sounds like your fiance gave you all the support you needed to know that you’re loved- the good, the sad, the scary…. I am so happy for you! Take care and all the best!!!! xx