hi everyone! as promised, i’m going to start sharing some of my random thoughts, life lessons, and general contemplations about whatever comes up. this series is going to be called musings, at least until i think of something better (WHY ARE TITLES THE HARDEST THING EVER?!). and if you have anything specific you want me to ramble on about, you know where to find me! {here, silly!}
today i want to talk about something that’s been on my mind lately, and what i’ve realized has opened up a world of doors for me. i used to look at a goal or ambition and become insanely overwhelmed thinking about all of the daunting details involved with achieving it. i’d get so defeated that i’d often give up before i started. point A to point B would often seem SO far away and almost impossible to imagine getting to. what i’ve learned since then is that the best way to get where you want to go (or become who you want to be) is one small step at a time.
for example, i spent all of my 20’s wishing i knew how to cook, wanting to be one of those people that could swoop into a kitchen and whip up something incredible with whatever was on hand. but i didn’t see a direct route to become that person, so i was overwhelmed and just sort of accepted that it wasn’t meant to be. i thought maybe i just wasn’t that person. but i’ve since realized that that person didn’t wake up one day, breeze into the kitchen and throw together an amazing meal. they started at a beginning somewhere and took who knows how many steps to become kitchen fluent before they EVER just spontaneously threw together an incredible dish. and after my fair share of time in the kitchen following recipes, browsing cookbooks, experimenting (and failing) i am now proudly a person who can improvise in the kitchen! {more after the jump}
so my advice is this: whatever it is you want to accomplish, forget about how long it will take you to get there, don’t focus on everything that will be involved in doing so, and instead sink all of your energy into doing any small thing that will get you closer.
do you want to be a person who travels the world? start a savings account, create a vision board of photos of the places you want to go, start journaling and write about the places you want to visit, get a part time job and squirrel those extra pennies away for your travel adventures, subscribe to a travel magazine, plan a garage sale to get rid of some of your stuff and put the proceeds into your piggy bank. just tackle something every day that moves you in that direction. focus on the small things you can do to get you onto that flight to nepal. don’t worry about the big picture, life/momentum/the universe will take care of the rest. i promise, one day you will wake up and realize YOU ARE that person that travels the world.
what do you think? have you experienced similar anxiety when looking at a something you want to accomplish/become and then let that anxiety paralyze you? what have you done to move past it? thanks everyone, i hope you like this new series! more soon. xx- sarah
This is so helpful right now. I'm a recent law school graduate studying for the bar…and its so hard not to worry about how I'll be employed afterwards. This really reminded me how much I need to simply focus on studying hard.
Loved this, Sarah. I've put aside my own dreams (stationery designer + eventual cute stationery shop owner!) while I help Brian with his, and while I love him more than anything and love the company we're building together, I do get overwhelmed often thinking about how many more years I have to wait before I start working on my goals. Totally had an Aha! moment and realised I can definitely take some baby steps now instead on focusing on how far the finishing line seems to be. I can't wait to read more of your "musings". xo
I think the biggest thing for me has been to find a friend who can help teach me whatever I want to learn or motivate myself to follow through.
Chase Miller
The Smell of Summer
thanks for this today! i'm having goal anxiety. the a to b distance seems so far. i really need to map out a.1 to a.2 before trying to make the leap
kw ladies in navy
This is exactly (EXACTLY) what I needed to hear and thus practice. I am struggling with many many goals, one of which is to get out more in the web world. Today I took a small first step and commented on one of my favorite bloggers sites (that would be this one :). Thank you.
thank you. i needed to read this today.
This is awesome , thank you sometimes you need that encouragement from a friend. Blog friend. ha. I have always worked since I was 16 and I am 35 and feeling the urge to finish college. I loose focus at times because I like to make money and I love to shop so this fall I need to just take the plunge and do it. Focus on that degree and forget the rest. Thank you so much for sharing Sarah.
XX-Myrna
Mybeatboutique.blogspot.com
Wow – what great thoughts. I must I too get overwhelmed by my goals so this line really speaks to me ' just tackle something every day that moves you in that direction' – in the next few months I'm going to start smaller to reach my goals!
Hi Sarah (and everyone else that needed this advice!) – have you read any of the posts on zenhabits about habit change and starting small when making changes… I have found them really helpful when I was having the same thoughts – I always want to go from zero to amazing! Here is a good one – http://zenhabits.net/normal/
As a writer, I totally have this problem when it comes to big personal and professional projects. I think it's also important to have a very specific goal to work towards like "I want to run the NYC marathon this year" instead of just "I want to be a runner". or "I want to travel to Greece" or "I want to be able to cook X dish". That plus breaking them up into smaller goals like you mentioned is something I really find helpful.
Great post – I like this new series! I couldn't agree more about just starting – Even if you don't get all the way to your goal on day one, at least you're moving in the right direction!
Amen – Two goals I've had, sell my photos and lose 20 lbs. With my photo print project I kept backing off because I don't have the $$ to do the project the way I want. ie; money to create all the prints in large format and then frame and display /photograph them hung for the website/shop. With weight loss, if I don't see results quick enough, I get discouraged. I've decided to start slow and just print and frame what I can afford right now (the website visitor will hopefully get the concept) and with weight loss to just keep doing my bootcamps and sooner or later I'll see the hard work pay off. Just do it and not focus on the results. Thanks for letting us share – Great luck to us all
I totally relate! I made my foray into the kitchen 5 years ago when we decided to start a whole food/veggie diet. Now I can (sort of) dance around the kitchen like Julia Child, but it took YEARS to master the basic things: like how to cook a perfect egg and fry up onions.
I totally relate! I made my foray into the kitchen 5 years ago when we decided to start a whole food/veggie diet. Now I can (sort of) dance around the kitchen like Julia Child, but it took YEARS to master the basic things: like how to cook a perfect egg and fry up onions.
I totally relate! I made my foray into the kitchen 5 years ago when we decided to start a whole food/veggie diet. Now I can (sort of) dance around the kitchen like Julia Child, but it took YEARS to master the basic things: like how to cook a perfect egg and fry up onions.
i'm so happy this resonates with you all as well! and i love reading about what you're all trying to achieve!
small steps everyone, we'll all get where we're going!!! xx – sarah
I liked what you had to say and I definitely can relate to having anxiety as to how I'm going to get to somewhere. Thank You for sharing your thoughts and it can be the simplest thing that open up the first door to help you get to the goal / ambition you're trying to achieve.
Thanks, Sarah! I needed this today. Really appreciate your blog. So nice to see your progression of work, it's really inspiring. Lmk next time you are in LA. Would love to see you!
This is beautiful and inspiring. I'm loving this new category! Looking forward to seeing what else you have up your creative sleeves!!
Thanks for this musing! I also recommend writing down the goals, whether they are short term or long term, and keeping them in front of you (maybe pasted on your computer or mirror- somewhere that you can see them daily). I actually bought a notebook and pen and carry them in my purse to write down things that inspire me in relation to my goals. It keeps my eyes on the prize.
Also, thanks for the inspiration, Sarah. Love coming to your blog
Such a great post. I try and live this way but sometimes forget and get overwhelmed. Thanks for the inspiration and keep it coming!
Thank you so much for writing this reminder – it's really encouraging as I have been the person you describe – too easily overwhelmed and discouraged! It's a control issue, for sure! And the key for me is to just enjoy the process for what it's worth, without too much attachment to the vision, but always hoping for the best.
Hi Sarah and thanks so much for this great post! I find myself exactly in this situation! I am applying for a permanent residence permit and it is a bloody nightmare! Tons of paperwork and I just know it's going to take forever and I can't help feeling overwhelmed…But the most difficult thing for me is trying and not be negative. Like I always picture things going wrong at some points like losing papers or being denied something. I always see myself being set back and struggling. Anyway, your post really did help though!
Camille
http://www.livingonvalleyroad.com
Hi Sarah,
This post really hits home with me. Most, if not all, of my anxiety comes from a place of uncertainty about the future; specifically career-wise. I'm almost 21 years old and in community college, with a part-time job that I know I don't want to have for the rest of my life. I have 1,001 ideas about who I want to be and what I want to do, yet I don't feel particularly certain about any of them at the moment. So I guess getting from point A to point B isn't really my problem. My problem is figuring out where point B is. It's causing me a lot of stress and frustration. All the time people tell me, "You're still so young. You don't need to know all the answers yet." But regardless, I feel lost. I have little motivation to go to school because it doesn't seem logical to spend large sums of money just to take classes aimlessly, with no goal in sight. How am I suppose to know what to major in if I don't know what the heck I want to do after college? Seriously, nightmarish. But baby-steps is still good advice, I suppose. This post did make me feel a bit better, so thank you for that. Keep on keeping on.
my husband and i began dreaming of buying a vintage rv, renovating it, and moving from co –> ca in it around this time last summer (just before our wedding). well, next thursday we leave for san diego! like you said, it just takes doing something (no matter how small) everyday to help you reach your goal until you are there!
Such fabulous advice!!!!
Hi Sarah
I found this page today via Lana Lou's blog. Synchronicity! I am in the throes of a "where to from here" challenge, and anywhere from 'here' may mean sacrifice so it seems really overwhelming and has led to inertia. Your words reminded me to take a step back and focus on the next few small steps. Thank you for sharing.
Wow, I'm so glad I found this post, in a way it feels like it was meant for me. Today, as I'm turning 24 and in the past few weeks, I've spent a lot of time thinking about my big goals, and getting frustrated realizing how far from them I am. I'm just like you mentioned, wishing I knew how to do all kind of things well but not knowing how to get there…or wishing that somehow I just all of a sudden knew hot to do the things I dream of (whether it's cooking, driving or even blogging) without having to go through the learning process. Deep down inside though, I know that the learning process is what makes getting to your goals special, so maybe I should take this 24th year to cultivate my patience and motivation to follow through with my goals and dreams.
Hope you're having a great day! You definitely made mine better with this post!
I'm in need of a big white board where I can write my small steps/everyday goals on them and not forget where I'm going. I get lost and loose my enthusiasm. I look at other's work and forget myself. I compare too much. Learning to just live everyday as it comes and not worrying so much about the outcome but enjoy the journey of getting there. Thank you for your article.
With joy,
Lisa
Wow. I'm reading this on the morning right after I had a round with my bf about the same thing. I have a habit of having to know everything from point a to point b to the minute details to get me started on anything, whereas he's the guy who has plenty of ideas but never get around to finishing most. But I guess what I can take away from you and from him is the balance, the knowing enough part.
Glad I'm not the only one obsessively focused on achieving.
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