you may or may not know about my other life. the one where i edit wedding photos all day long. it’s really a dream job- but even though i know that there are days when it just feels like WORK, you know? in those times i let my mind wander back to my very colorful work history (it helps me stay grateful).
i was a cocktail waitress at a trashy horse racetrack who served bud light in plastic cups to surly old men. i had a stint working the night shift at the vermont teddy bear company dressing bears as they came down the production line (terrible!). i worked for a company where my only job was to sit at a computer and enter the numbers from checks as they popped up onto the screen (aka data entry hell).
i was a temp worker, i worked at wet seal (omg), i assisted a photographer on the set of “wheel of fortune”. i worked at the olive garden and then when i was fired, the macaroni grill. i was an assistant on the sports illustrated cover shoot with reggie bush when he won the heisman trophy (i did not know one thing about reggie bush, the heisman trophy, or sports illustrated). i still don’t.
i was a dock hand, a bus girl, a second mate of a charter sailboat in the caribbean. i was a personal assistant for one of oprah’s friends. i taught photography at the art institute of san diego (that one still kills me, i felt like any second they would realize they’d hired ME to teach college, laugh and toss my ass out the door).
when i look back on it, i’m amazed. what a crazy, wild, and random work life i’ve had. and i can’t wait to see what the future brings! is this normal? do you have a laundry list of bizarro jobs like this, or do i just have employment ADD?
here is a short list of jobs i might like to have going forward: dog stylist, luxury hotel critic, house flipper, baby animal photographer, caribbean tour guide, candy taster, gangster rapper, personal chef on a ginormous yaght where my employers (jay-z & beyonce) only come once a year for a couple of weeks leaving me free to explore the mediterranean in my long months off, robot inventor, sleep study contributor, candy factory owner (a la willy wonka), trend hunter, puppy cuddler. are any of these too much to ask? i’m a hard worker and i’ve got skills. i think i can make this happen.
photo david bailey for uk vogue, 1971 via they roared vintage