Happy Tuesday everyone! After I shared my most recent health update last week I read through all of the comments and emails- I was struck by how many of you are going through or have gone through something similar! So today I want to share some of the ways that I’m coping. I know that there are times where life can get very dark- loss, health struggles, the end of a friendship or relationship, work stress- really there are a million things that can weigh us down. Which always brings me back to the idea that it’s not a matter of what adversity you face- we all face it- but how you get to the other side of it. It’s been a struggle for me this go-round to find the light, to learn how to be gentle with myself, really- to figure out how to dust myself off and keep moving forward. I’ve hit some all time lows with this one. But I’m thankful for them because they’ve provided me the greatest possible opportunity to learn and grow, I know that at the other side of this I’m a better version of myself. I’m stronger, I’m learning so much about life, myself, and how to love myself and be ok in the world even in the darkest moments. More below… {image via}
One of the things I have to keep reminding myself throughout this process is to find joy, happiness, comfort- to take it where I can get it! As anyone with a chronic illness will tell you- there are only so many days you can spend in bed or at home before you start to feel blue. It’s the same for anyone coping with a trauma, loss or life crisis I think- it’s easy to become consumed by it. I’ve been practicing finding happiness in every spot I can- wrapping myself in a soft blanket to cozy up on the couch and taking note of how it comforts me, the sweet taste of coconut water, spending time watching the way the breeze blows the curtains and being grateful for the wind. On the days or moments when I feel good- I really LIVE. I see friends, I use every bit of energy I have to enjoy my life, to be around the people who lift me up, I try to be spontaneous! I’m learning to become very discerning about how I spend my time, making sure that I’m really doing things that bring me happiness!
I’ve realized that I take life too seriously. I have workaholic tendencies. This year is reminding me that life is meant to be fun- that there’s a playful spirit inside each of us that just wants to be free! I’m working less, I’m finding other ways to feed my creative spirit, I’m re-prioritizing. At the end of my life I want to feel like I really enjoyed it- I don’t want to feel like I misused my time. So I’m not taking any of it for granted. I’m asking myself “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO” every single day instead of WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. This is a huge, HUGE change for me.
I hung windchimes all around the outside of our house so that I’m surrounded by beautiful sounds that remind me to stay present. I’ve found that if I’m present, I’m ok. It’s the moments when I slip off into worrying about what has happened, what might happen, that I suffer. I’m spending time practicing being completely where I am, being ok with what is happening in my body and life, being ok in the world. This is the hardest challenge I’m facing, but will also carry me through the rest of my days in a more peaceful, gentle, happy way.
I’m going to therapy. I realize how fortunate I am that I have the resources to go through all of this with a support team, and I’ve added a therapist to the list. She’s helping me process some of the things that happened in my childhood that might be contributing to my health issues. I believe that healing- true healing, is a mind-body-soul endeavor. She’s helping me change my inner dialogue, become aware of how some of the things that happened to me as a child are affecting me as an adult. This is not easy work. But it’s probably the most important.
So that’s where I’m at so far. I’m sure as I continue down my path to wellness I’ll develop more ways to enrich my life, I’ll learn more about what these health struggles are meant to teach me, I’ll keep looking for the light. If you have any advice, I really do love to read your thoughts- they lift me up, they inspire me, they make me cry, they make me feel alive. So once again, I am reminded of the thing that comforts me most in this world- we are all in this together. We are all connected. Thank you. xx- Sarah
I love your openness to the ongoing evolution of self. This is your time, walking through the fire is painful but worth every step. “You will have to pass through fire. Only then, whatever is there which is ugly and useless will be burnt, and you will come out as pure gold.” OSHO. xob
It’s really hard to change the inner voice that tells you all kinds of negative things, but really worth it when you manage to do it. Have you tried CBT it can work wonders? I’ve not done it through a professional but used aspects of it to change my way of thinking. My partner suffers from Bipolar and can get very anxious so I use it to rationalise his thoughts too as he can be prone to thinking the very very worse! I was reading in another blog that the way people talk to us when we are young becomes our inner voice when become adults which actually made so much sense to me, xx
So great to continuously come back to your blog and follow your life. It’s refreshing to read a blog where there’s a mix of style, home decor, gorgeous photography, cooking but ALSO real life! Thanks for being so open and honest with your audience. Wishing you well.
Sending healing vibes and positivity your way, Sarah. I can relate to your health struggles- this year has me dealing with a huge cancer scare, a hysterectomy and 18 weeks of aggressive chemotherapy. I have learned that trying to keep a positive mental attitude and trying to stay present has been crucial in getting through it. Wallow when you need, but don’t get stuck in wallowing.
One small thing that has helped me: my friend and I text each other 3 things for which we are grateful every day. This has been going on for 3 months right now. It forces me to look for the positive even on the days that I don’t feel like it.
it is all about FINDING THE LIGHT. you nailed it. you always do. xoxo Daisy
I have many childhood and family issues that I overcame by practicing EFT. Emotional freedom technique by nick ortner. You may want to look into this or take a session with an EFT practioner in your area.
I think like you, Life is joy, fun and love. I love this passage in the book I’m reading: “We have nothing to fear when Love is at the helm of thought, but everything to enjoy in earth and in heaven.” (Miscellaneous Writings, MBE). We are all connected.
I found your blog just yesterday and I have to say that your posts about health, both mental and physical, came at just the right time for me. Your honesty and positive outlook are inspiring. I love love the windchime idea. I might have to do the same 🙂
http://www.qustomquinns.com/blog
I hear you Sara! At the moment I’m grieving a recent loss so like you I’m trying to see the beauty in even the smallest things and remind myself what life’s all about, gently edging myself back to happiness. I’ve always been an achiever, a completer-finisher type person and it IS hard to take a step back, just be and enjoy. How are you finding Zoloft? I’m also taking it for PMS symptoms and finding it takes the edge off, but I feel quite tired, especially in the evenings. Much love to you x
Sarah,
I’ve been reading your posts lately, but haven’t commented until now. I just want to let you know how incredibly strong you are, and how inspiring it is to read your posts. I think everyone goes through their own struggle, whether its health, internal, professional, relationship etc. but most people don’t know about it, so thank you SO MUCH for sharing. When we’re going through this, we feel so alone. I know because I’ve gone through some similar (but different) things, that to me feel like the end of the world at times, but they’re really not. They’ve made me appreciate all that I have and like you said, I try to be in the present so I don’t worry or think about all the “what-ifs”. I’m still trying to figure them all out too, but think I’m also starting to get on the right track with things. I love yoga, have really changed my diet (like you!), meditation too (I highly recommend vedic meditation), I see a functional doctor, and the list goes on. I’d love to know who your homeopathic doctor is though, if you don’t mind!!! Have you tried acupuncture? I’m all about trying ALL avenues – I truly believe in all that type of medicine and glad you have such a great support system! Wishing you the best! Stay strong.
xoxo
Dana
Hi Sarah,
so happy to see that you are looking at the mind-body connection, I think that is very wise. I have also struggled in the field of autoimmunity disorders and know it is a huge field with an ocean of answers. I have found that it is great to meditate and go within to really examine thought patterns. The conscious mind really only controls 5% of our day to day thinking, so to make changes it is so much wiser to go within to see what you really have spinning in your mind through the day.
I highly, highly recommend the book “You are the Placebo” by dr. Joe Dispenza. He goes in depth about how what you think shapes your life and how you can use meditation to begin thinking differently. It really does work.
Wishing you the best!
And yes, fun is soo important 😀
Dear Sarah,
You have the best way of addressing adversity even when you are in the thick of it. All of your posts are so inspiring to me as I recover from a health crisis and also need to focus on what I WANT to do vs. what I NEED to do. Thank you for transforming something that is painful for you into something empowering and sharing your journey with us. You’re a gift!
Erica
I’m really glad to hear that you’re talking to someone. I LOVED my therapy time. Aside from the great person to talk too, it made me see all the growth, accomplishments and that I was going to be ok. Life’s pretty fucking overwhelming sometimes yeah? Wheeeee!!!! 😉
I just love your continued honesty and realness. Be present and look for the good, the happy, the true. You are so kind and wise and open. I’m sending you all kinds of good thoughts.
Girl you write so well. I hear you loud and clear. Its very brave of you to undergo therapy, I tried beginning of this year and I stopped because I could not handle it. I might try again later.
So, its good what you do to keep a conversation with yourself, with others. Its important to be surrounded by great people as well. And music, of yeah music, my therapy. Music makes me alive.
Wishing you all the best.
With Love. x