Hello friends! I’m here! I popped back in on Instagram yesterday to say howdy, and offer a peek at where my head is these days. What I shared there is below. I feel it applies here as well, and in case you missed it…well, here it is:
I took a few months off social media (save for a few business obligations) because I felt like it wasn’t serving me. Honestly, instead of feeling inspired I felt envious. Instead of feeling connected, I felt lonely. Instead of happy it made me anxious. If you’re in the same boat I highly recommend taking time away and reflecting.
Connecting more offline helped me re-center myself. Still, when I thought about re-joining the online world all I could think about was what it had to offer me- and given how negative my perception had become I didn’t really see a reason to return. So I sat with it some more. And then it hit me like a “wake up you jerk” slap in the face.
I’ve loved this space in the moments when I felt I had something to give, when I felt I’d shared something really true, when I hoped I might have served someone in a positive way. I was focusing on the wrong shit!! DUH, me. 🤦🏽♀️ I’m here to brighten YOUR day, not mine. I’m here to serve YOU, not myself. That’s a really beautiful thing!!! That changed EVERYTHING for me. And so, a fresh start. And no better way to start than to apologize.
I’ve taken you for granted. It’s fucking AMAZING that you choose to follow me. ME! I mean, trust me when I tell you there are so many times (basically 2015-2017) when I couldn’t even begin to wonder why. But you do. And that’s a huge gift!!! I have the chance every single day to possibly bring some happiness to you, or say something you needed to hear, or encourage you in some small way. I have the gift (as we all do) to use my voice to make this place a better space to be in. I won’t let that slip past me again, you have my word. Thank you. Truly, thank you. I will do better.
PS- I thought about deleting all of my past posts because I lurve the idea of a blank slate but let’s be honest I’m not Taylor Swift, that takes so much time, and I have a baby to chase. So my past and shortcomings are staying right where they are. It’s better that way I think. Every moment is a chance for a fresh start, to do better. And that’s a gift too.
OK! So that was it. And how it applies here is a little different, but really the message is the same. I lost track of showing up in this space for YOU. It started long before this and I’ll write more about that another time. But for now, please know that I have such deep gratitude for what you’ve given me over the years. You’ve showed up here even when I was barely around and you’ve offered me your support. The messages and comments you’ve sent have been nothing but kind and generous, checking in on me to make sure I’m ok. And before that you were my cheerleaders through some heavy times, you shared your stories and hearts with me, you were beyond what I could hope for in an online community. I feel so lucky and like such a jackass for taking it for granted and losing sight of my purpose. Like I wrote above, I will do better. And I’m excited to make it up to you! xx- Sarah